It’s a drug hit!
That’s what I told my friend when he pointed out yet another weakness he has.
Many times people label themselves and then go on to point out every character flaw and challenge, to prove it.
Say there’s a young loan officer, entering the workforce.
He is timid, shy, and scared.
But he is using it as proof that he is an introvert.
“I’m so weak, I’m not good enough, not brave enough, not courageous enough to do this – I’m an introvert.”
In reality, most of humanity will experience the same feelings and deal with it at some point.
#1 Don’t box yourself in!
Many things you do/feel are just human traits; it doesn’t prove that you are deficient or weak, especially if you are new or making a transition in life.
Not every challenge validates that you are type XYZ.
It’s just the human experience – deal with it!
#2 Stop using addictive emotions!
Emotions create chemicals; self-pity, self-loathing, feeling inadequate, feeling sad, helpless, or angry, all are chemicals.
The brain gets used to it and comes back for more.
These emotions are drugs.
Psychologists say “emotions are addictive”.
“But, it hurts so much…” cried my friend.
My answer “yes, and you are addicted to the pain”.
Call a spade a spade.